Saturday, January 30, 2010

Your full of it...

Being the mother of two in diapers, 3 dogs, and 2 cats, (I know.  I know.  WTH?) has brought tremendous amounts of poo into my life.  I mean seriously, we should start a fertilizer company. 

Sunday, January 24, 2010

I found this picture of Ryan today on my pc and got really caught up in how fast these last 2 and half years have gone.  All the worry and all the heartache that was part of bringing him into this world is such a fleeting memory.  Wounds that were healed by the wonderful experience of Corey's semi "normal" birth.  I gaze into this chubby little face and think:  "Damn, if I only knew then how loud this child would be able to scream..."
"Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience..."

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Today was a hard day.  Yesterday was so busy and we got overly optimistic, because the house was finally shown.  I let myself, (much to my better judgment), start dreaming about the house we will buy in Orlando and being back together.  But then this morning. I wake up and feel down again because its back to the real world.  We did find out that the potential buyers were interested and loved the house.  They will be back in a few weeks to make their decision.  So until.

Chris left around 4pm and that just makes the rest of the evening hard.  I know it's not forever and I know that there is a plan for us.  Knowing this just doesn't make the pain of it all go away.  However, I am reminded today of real people with real problems in the news reports from Haiti.  May, God hold them close and may I keep in perspective the magnitude of what I am NOT dealing with...

Monday, January 18, 2010


Today is one of my favorite days!!!

No its not Grocery day. Bleh! Chris is coming home tonight. This separation is getting harder everyday. My husband and I are so close, that not having him here has been like having a huge hole ripped in our family life. I am so busy all day long. I clean house, change diapers, play playdoh, and feed children. Every evening when the boys are in bed and I finally get a chance to relax, an old familiar lump forms in my throat as I sit down with a glass of wine.

I didn't get married to be alone...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Corey Christopher came into the world pretty much the same way his older brother did. With mom getting drenched at 2am and having a baby less than 12 hours later. Thanks to the lack of stress this time and a weekly needle in the butt, he waited 2 more weeks to make his debut. After a tough start he is doing so amazing and has wrecked my sleep schedule. Chris was able to spend a couple weeks with us and is now back working his tail off in Orlando. Ryan is pretty much oblivious to his new brother. Only mentioning him when he wants me to put him down, so we can play. The holidays this year were a blur and I am already daydreaming of next year, when we can be together under one roof again...

Me? Well. I'm tired and overwhelmed. But I am also incredibly blessed. I think a lot about the future and what it will be like when Ryan can make Corey laugh, or when they can actually ride bikes together or wrestle in my living room. I still stop sometimes and shake my head. I am a mom. A mom of two. Two BOYS!