Muppets and Potty Training...

So the time has come that I have to try to, at least, start steering Ryan towards using the toilet.  I'm not one of those moms that is sad or down about this because it means he is growing up.  I just have absolutely no patience for this at this exact moment in my life.  I would rather just keep changing diapers.  Its predictable and quite frankly, I am really good at it.  We have had a bit of success with peeing in his little potty, but we all know that pee diapers aren't the problem.  Right???
The thing with Ryan, is that he could care less if his diaper is dirty.  He would sit in that thing all day long.  This doesn't seem to be the case with Corey.  He fusses the minute he is soiled.  But we will talk about that in the not so distant future.  Because he is a boy and that could change at any moment.
I was shopping for Ryan's birthday present the other day and I stumbled across something that combined mine and Ryan's latest obessession.  It's a dvd called, "Elmo Potty Time!"  I was like Dang!  Who knew muppets crapped???  So I scooped it up and paid $10 in hopes that Elmo could do what mommy hasn't been able to do.  Get Ryan in the bathroom.  Stay tuned to see if Elmo has anymore luck than I did.

God spoke to me this morning.  Now for anyone that knows me, I don't go around subscribing to this kind of stuff.  It's not that I don't believe in this.  I believe we all have what we need internally, we just need to find the solutions and it isn't going to be as simple as a deep voice from above.  For the first time in my life, I am in the midst of a journey.  A journey that is testing everything about who I am and will ultimately change who i a becoming.  Nothing quick or easy about it.  This has been hard.  This has been lonely.  This has been very very painful.  I read a ton a half dozen blogs everyday.  They give me insight from the best diaper deals to the struggles of being a mom.  Today, I visited one of my favorites and began reading about how mothers in the mormon faith have a true devotion to their kids and how they see it as a calling by God.  This got me thinking about how present or not present, I have been in the last few months.  Just surviving isn't good enough but it is also where I am.  There are only two things that right now can snap me out of self pity and the crying jags that I seem to go on.  One is Ryan and one is Corey... 
There is something very pure about a conversation with a 3 year old and even more so how those conversations get clearer over night.  Oh, and having an infant.  Well there is no time for any pity when your feeding, burping, changing, and wiping spit up off your shirt.  Often, I do all of these with tears in my eyes.
So?  You ask what God said to me?  Well while watching a video about a mom who had been badly burned in a crash a huge wave of emotions came over me.  She said "She just knew that everything would be okay."  Suddenly.  I knew too...